We don't need a seahorse lamp to look orange.

Somedays it's hard to crawl out of bed. This would sound like depression from most people but not from me. I have such a cool bed that my mattress has it's own window! Do you know what that window is filled wit? I don't either but I like to imagine that my mattress window is brimming with beer and pussy. Needless to say I don't leave the bed much. I have a window, a Bebe gun, and an old Buick in the front lawn. I could never walk again and be happy with a set up like this.

When I leave the bed I like it to be for something good, usually a parade or quick round of fire golf (it's like regular golf while commiting arson). However there are the rare occasions when even old Minxie is called on to work. Don't worry too much folks, I only work holidays and I only work construction.

I stand on the fifth floor with my lunch box pretending to hammer while wondering how accurate my estimation of breasts are from up so high. I also like to watch my coworkers work.
Occasionally these guys will yell at me for not working but that's where I got 'em cornered. Unless you are into that sort of thing and run www.stevehjoseph.com (drinking non-alcoholic daquiris in your mother's basement) and take the method behind your mayhem seriously (I take my methods with speed balls). Anyhow. belief systems are at their truest best form when used for exploitation. Call me lazy? Hard workers are boring. Have I forgot to clip my fingernails? They are an erogenous zone. Have you caught me shoplifting? Meijers doesn't even deserve money anyway.

Seriously don't shop at meijer's.

Randomly adopting systems of beliefs might make me traverse some otherwise undiscovered road but the more I make these trips again. I guess my whims are all the same.

I'm gonna go ride a roller coaster while attempting to read Tolstoy. I bet Shawn Marion I could do this.