A preface. Welcome to the new world Dr. Dinosaur or whatever your name may be. Archie tells me that you too are addicted to heroine. Well, I've been in some rough spots before. I've had my eyes opened, closed, and jabbed by the iron grip of addiction and the best advice I can give is to put down those Wonder Woman Comic Books and get a job. Secondly. It's Lil' Wayne Week here at New Hindenburg. You'll hear a lot of fancy words from Sergei about how Wayne is New Hindenburgian. That's funny, I thought he was a rapper.
***
Some things don't need explanation to be understood. Earthquakes, Parkinson's, and other things that shake are simply there. Reasons are secondary to their existence. Unlike a thirteen year old girl, they have no need for your validation or attention. Like a thirteen year old girl, Earthquakes can't get enough of Zac Efron. Watch out sir, that's one mistress you don't want to scorn.
Despite being the most complicated of all natural disasters Earthquakes are the most basic thing in my world. The ground shakes. It's dangerous. No World Series. Jose Canseco stands around confused.
In the grand scheme of things there are infinite beings and ideas. In the scope of my daily interactions there are only three people and I'm one of them. These other two are the only people I see. I wish I could say it was because they were so groundbreaking. Hell, I wish I could say it was because they were my cell mates, but that isn't true. These people comprise 66% of the human race because we are that closely linked. One just yelled at me to stop typing so he could sleep and dream of a life with POGS. Regrettably, I had to say "No. Fuck you." This is the only free time I have before the booze/mescaline/insecurity kicks in.
Three beings is enough to make the idea of an omniscient God palatable to the majority of people my parents introduced me to as a child. Don't get me wrong. It's good, damn good, but I'm still hungry for a little bit more. This causes me to search elsewhere, which is where he danger lies.
Dissatisfaction is the leading cause of stupidity. Seeing as all of us are dissatisfied in our own special, unique ways, we are all stupid in a special way. One may lie in bed, looking all circular, dreaming of sex or egg nog, or a collection of both. One may idle around, telling himself everything's ok, while regressing all the while. One may refuse to sit still, opting instead to run around burning bridges.
Burning bridges can lead to new relationships or arrests for felony trespassing. The pace also leads to projects, good projects. That glass filled lot? Let's aim high but unintentionally make it a parking lot! We can toil under the sun every monday until we begin to worry about that mole on our arm and our mother's warnings. We can have a vision, we can have promise, we can have sacrifices. Our being can be infused with a sense of purpose that serves to reinvent everything we know and provide something to talk about when drunk or with girls or priests or dogs that sort of look like girls. We can have all this but without any approval we will be shy. We will become insecure. We will talk about it like imperialists. We will attempt to conquer others with our vision of what is beautiful and storm off when these visions don't align.
Without validation, we'll wonder if we're doing it for the right reasons. We'll force things up like Al Sharpton fakes indignation. Suddenly we're selfish, hopeless human beings. No matter what spark we attempt to try to conjure we'll still be stuck. I'm fine with there being a world consisting of Donald Driver, McDonald's gift certificates, and unnecessary showers. I'm not fine with that being the only world there is.
A sign was needed. At the very least for hope. At the very most for validation. Sitting in dirt up to your waist, you don't require much. I'd have have have have have have have have settled for a gatorade when the truck came a-calling. alley life leads to homeless escapades, fear culture, and trucks. Jalopys heaped high with furniture and aluminum pass on a ten minute rotation. It could be the same truck every time, I can't bring myself to care.
This truck came bumbling down the way like a bad halloween costume, it was enough to catch my interest, not nearly enough to sustain it. It came to a stop and a college aged man of college age exited the car with a keg. He hoisted it with little effort before leaving it next to my adopted dumpster. I got back to help.
Finished with my toil, a friend came to offer help just as I was quitting. To answer your query he always exercises such impecable timing. We talked about the keg, figuring we'd return it for 5 dollars we could guiltlessly spend on FunYuns. Retrieving the keg we found that it was heavy. It was heavy because it was full of beer. Immediate validation.
My endeavor may be for my selfish reasons or it could be altruistic. I won't know for sure until Richard Dawkins finishes his study of me. I hope it happens soon. I can't stand these Bonobos any longer. Sex as currency grows tiresome in the animal kingdom. Try as I might these apes just aren't into Loonies. Though my ultimate intentions are as murky as the current edition of the Edmund Fitzgerald (YEAH!!!!!!) I now know why I'm doing what I do. Because there's a chance I'll get a shit load of free beer. Keep it up and I'll end up with Archie.
This keg got rolled into our home and the search for a tap began. It caught our excitement for minutes bordering on ten before we were conjured back to ourselves to drown in our own shit. When we ran out of miracles and conversation, Egg Nog occurred to us. A friend, a brother, a blimp captain lives for the shit. He rests under a promotional poster and can't live the 9 months of the year when Nog just isn't feasible. He tried freezing it last year but frozen pizzas just don't allow enough room for a year round supply of anything.
This year looks brighter though. We are inventing the invention of Keg Nog. He will have the supply he needs. I will have the excuse I need to drink and a reason to keep raking. Someone else will have something new to laugh about and talk about. There's hope for us yet.
My Universe is looking damn bright right now. Does anyone have a tap?
***
Come free your mind
On this dick, that I have.
- Lil' Wayne
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