Jurassic Park!!

As Sergei so illustriously pointed out, today is indeed a day of celebration, a day to lift our respective glasses to the sky, give a furious whoop of unbridled joy and badassedness, to then lower said glasses and perhaps pour a bit out of them before emptying them of their delicious, life-sustaining contents.

It also a day just like every day--a day to sit down with a tuna-melt and a Mountain Dew, and think about how Jurassic Park fucking ruled. Remember the part where that one guy who plays Muldoon thinks he's hunting the raptors, only to find that they are actually HUNTING HIM! Clever girl! Or do you recall that cute little animated double helix that narrates the story of Jurassic Park's god-defying dinosaur experiments? In your face, God! Chalk one up for little round old guys who have enough money to buy Jeff Goldblum outright.

Of course, if you watch Jurassic Park today, all of the dinosaurs look like ghost-dinosaurs, since the special effects didn't age very well. But, in the end, that sort of makes it even scarier. I mean, fucking GHOST DINOSAURS? Goodnight and good luck (and I ain't talkin' 'bout George Clooney)!

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And, for the record, I resent being put in the same category as a certain rehabbing junkie. Everything in moderation, Minxie; I am of the opinion that a little speedball every once in a while never hurt anyone. This is America, after all, a country veritably founded on potentially lethal cocktails of heroin and cocaine. That is all.