What's A Blog?!?

Dear Friends,
Dearer Internet,

I have a painful confession for the both of you out there reading this immaculate drivel that might be spittle... I have no idea what I'm doing. I foray into this cyber adventure with the gusto that Dave, the dull stoner attendant at Merchant's, greets each and every day. Dave has probably been 3 years without a lay. At this juncture, I feel the same way about my brain. Things are interesting (akin to Dave's masturbation), but they are far from fulfilling. So far and so on, things are far from where I imagined they would be when I was a boy.

As a result I turn to you faithful and humble Internet. For the longest time you have been there for me in various times of need. If I need to discuss Rashard Lewis, if I need to hear the Traveling Wilburys, if I need to see dirty pussy it is you who are there.

HOWEVER. You should understand that this is not a compliment. I'd like to get a paper, I'd like to write letters, but mostly I don't want to be stagnant and obsolete. That's what slideshows are for.

The logical question is qhy I'm typing these words. The illogical answer is that this is the seed. Myself, along with a gang of cohorts deign to provide you with everything that the internet should be. We know you're bored, angry, and insipidous. Don't bother with the emotions. Let us express them for you.
This is a shollow microcosm of the work I hope to produce. If anything I hope to help everything but my own ego. If you want me (or my friends) to be anything, by all means suggest it. We're so weak willed we just might run with it.

I have no feelings on Rose McGowan. I have lots on Cuckoo Clocks. These are good feelings.

I'm sick and tired of being bored. I'm bored of watching Kid Nation... Thus begins the path to satiation.