As I've been riding the rails these past weeks (and, by "riding the rails" I of course mean secreted in the cab of a Wal-Mart/Sams Club semi-truck, languidly reclined atop a pile of recently unpackaged Tickle Me Extreme Elmos), I've been fantasizing a lot. Given that this trip itself is, thus far, a fantasy that has yet to live up to my expectations--it is hard to connect with quaint salt-o-the-earth American folk while doing 70 in a humid, windowless cab on the Interstate--I need something to fill my bored and beleaguered head. Thusly:
Three people Lil Wayne wants to smoke three blunts with:
1) Oscar de la Hoya
2) Bill Gates
3) Tom from Myspace
Three people I want to smoke three blunts with:
1) Lil Wayne
2) Gabriel Garcia Marquez
3) Tom from Myspace
People I no longer want to hang out with after seeing them in The Golden Compass:
1) Daniel Craig
2) Little British kids
People I still want to hang out with, despite their involvement with The Golden Compass:
1) Sam Elliott
2) Any and all armored polar bears
Television shows I pretend to love but secretly hate, or pretend to hate but secretly love:
1) The Hills
Things I like to mix with vodka:
1) Tonic
2) Sparks
3) Cranberry juice cocktail
4) Orangina
5) More vodka
6) Rice Chex
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