Let's Get Disasterous

So it seems our boy Joely has decided to come out of the closet and go by his given moniker. Weak move, Joely. It probably won't stop you from posting under the banner of "Charlie Hoofing III". Just like your over night drunks, you'll forget it all and move on without shame. You're a real bastard for that one.

Onward to business, fun, and the sort of things that make life worth living. I have recently taken a departure from my strict regimen of gun collecting and Afro-American studies to embark on a sojourn along the coasts of California.

I've been in this place for nearly two years. I love the food, the weather, and the women. While I've enjoyed living every day like a Saturday, I now realize that I've been seeing this place through the perspective of Axels (or Axls).

Axel Foley of Beverly Hills Cop fame came to Los Angeles with a chip on his shoulder. Seeking to avenge his friend's murder, he attacked in a manner that was his and his alone. Axel Foley solved the case by being Axel Foley. Bananas in tail pipes and spouting streams of bullshit so staunch they look like smog was the order of the day. While his wits and exploits are the stuff of legend, a closer viewing shows an unwillingness to grow on Axel's part.

It's a different game out here. Axel wasn't ready to play it. Think of him let a much better, more effective version of Houston Rockets PG Rafer "Pentecost" Alston. Rafer is a streetball legend, coined "Skip to my Lou" because of his sick penetration and dazzling dribbles. In terms of pure basketball skills, he was next to R. Kelly on the mantle of "World's Greatest".

Pure skill is nothing. It's about how you play the game. Instead of entering as a late round pick and setting the league on fire with an unfathomable cocktail of skills from different forms, Rafer bounced around the league, doing nothing of worth but earning the nickname "Pentecost" from Stan Van Gundy. The famous incident occurred when Van Gundy informed Alston that he would be given a starting role and asked if he would be ready. Forever arrogant, Alston proclaimed "I'm like the Pentecost. Always ready to rise." Such confidence can be seen in his recent feud with Chris Paul. I would like to believe that Axel Foley would feud with Chris Paul if he were an NBA point guard. Think of Chris Paul as the Gumbelic replacement detective.

Axl Rose made a big fucking deal out of LA being a jungle. I always thought this was fucking ridiculous. Then I left LA for a few days. Seeing wide open spaces and people living as farmers reminded me that I don't have to live in a van. There is no rule saying I have to be a lost boy along the way. If I do it I'll deserve it. There is no penalty for caring.

However, we know we're no genius. Because we're fucking stupid we have no choice but to spout pour shit, make our films, and hope something sticks. If not we're liable to be making our Chinese Democracy for the rest of our lives.

I'm happy to be here. Happy to be alive. The World is waiting for Dartmouth.