Barack Obama! That's right, we're about to have our first black president! What better time to consider new ideas? Different perspectives your mind wouldn't previously allow? A new way of life! What better time to say "out with the old, and in with the new!"??? So, world...
IT'S TIME THE PILLOW BECAME THE #1 INVENTION.
Honestly, the wheel has enjoyed a pretty respectable incumbency. No disrespect! Afterall - who could doubt the wheel? As far as inventions go, you'd be a fool to argue against it...
The Earth as we know it would not exist. Our executives wouldn't talk to each other from towers billowing hundreds of feet above the Earth's surface, casting shadows over cities breathing hard. Those men and their cell phones wouldn't speak via signals, to a satelite, floating even higher out, blending in with the stars in the sky, which, then, couldn't gaze back at us from time to time, showing us a reflection of ourselves from God's point-of-view.
Life would be simpler. Life might be comfortable.
Since there's no erasing an invention, it'd be useless to go on about a world without the wheel. Instead, let's all agree on the easier task of naming a new favorite. The pillow. Everyone loves 'em, why not? Besides, the potential benefits of such a paradigm shift are enough to reclaim souls. Think about it...
How much time do you spend with your pillow? Do ever sleep on a wheel? How many wheels have been covered in layers of your drool (or other bodily substances, but that's my next point...)?! There's no doubt that we'd all be much grumpier people without such overlooked comforts. Sure, we've probably always found a way to be comfortable, from the beginning of "human", maybe before, but the pillow means more than comfort. Cheers to the first man that decided to package soft.
Of the times you've been lucky to have sex in a comfortable place, how often were pillows responsible? Babies. Think about it.
But besides the obvious reasons, doesn't it say something: to place an object that cradles our minds delicately above another which has evolved, with too many examples, into our most unforgiveable creations? Yes, it shouldn't be ignored that without the wheel the production of pillows would plummit (phenomenally)! That's boring, and beside the point. Let's all appreciate the idea of a comfortable mind. For once, let's revere principal over practicality. Dreams over productivity.
My last and most poignant argument: a website of the ten funniest pillows. A google search for funny wheels yields disappointing results.
Ultimately, it's painfully true that this blog wouldn't exist without things that roll. You'd have to come over if we wanted to catch up.
I hope you'll consider my ideas. It'd really be a shame to go on in such anxious complacency - they say we're heading into a new era!
Sleep well,
Jeff the Pen
1 comment:
let it be said that the wheel is probably respected as an "invention" more because it was the first step for man in understanding the concept of shape and how shape can be manipulated in one's environment. it's not really an invention per se but more a show of early man's ingenuity and development into thinking creatures. because honestly, wheels always existed, but somebody just put it to use. in that same vein, the guy who made millions out of the pet rock is a goddamn genius. but you're right, the first caveman who used a pile of leaves to sleep more comfortably is really getting the shaft, historically speaking.
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