"This" or "That" Isn't Quite What We're Looking For

No one likes to live in sadness. Some of us are addicted to it, and we like to think that we can’t control it, so we explore it because that’s what we’re compelled to do. It’s how we know how to feel, and how to express. Even better, we recognize how impermanent sadness truly is; that we can very simply turn a switch and be something else, but that’s beside the point. We’ve jumped down the well with the belief of some China on the other side. Our fall will be like nothing we’ve experienced, or anyone else for that matter.

We’re leaving everything up in the air, because nothing belongs on the ground. We want to see fit that fit is unfit, or we’ll throw one. There’s nothing else to do, and we wonder why not EVERYONE is bored to tears. It’s undoubtedly our fault, and we’ll take credit for it, because we’re addicted to it. Don’t you get it? We like being addicted to it. It’s how we know how to feel, and it’s been so easy to convince ourselves that it’s better than not feeling, so now it’s what we do because we feel compelled to do it. It is now a way of life.

And I think we were destined for it, really, because, at least in my case, it came out of nowhere, but I can’t speak about it for anyone else, because each of us has come to know it differently, and I don’t know what it is to each of them - or you, too, if you feel inclined to it (and this isn’t just about sadness [though it might be one day], just so we’re clear about it). Still, individually, each of us knows what it is, whether or not we acknowledge . We can’t separate it from ourselves - how we fill in the space of an unfinished sentence.

Though I hate it, it’s there, and “it” is more than nothing.

I hope you’ll trust me, for it’s sake.

Jeff the Pen.