Don't Be Afraid, Run To Your Roots...

It's been a long week. Good in some stretches and tedious in others. I've had my eyes in the clouds, my mind in the gutter, and every bit of me engulfed in a stolid muddle... 

Well, welcome home. Back to where you belong. 

Things have aligned basically perfectly. This may strike out as praise of recent journalistic exploits and the fruit they've wrought. They're tasty fruit, tangy like citrus, but nothing more than fruits at the end of the day. 

For some reason, my mind has been so many other places lately. I know where it should be, and it just ain't there. It's times like these when we must acknowledge how futile and insipid our lives, as personified devices have become. 

I went to the Grocery Store yesterday morning. I bought Orange Juice, Eggs, Hot Pockets, and a Christian Joke Book. Of all these things, the Christian Joke Book has brought me the most joy. I've spent several hours telling these jokes with Dan, engaging in a back and forth indicative of the famed Heinz Tomato Ketchup Conversation of 2007. 

Fuck achievement. Screw love. This is what it's all about. 

In the process of telling these jokes we have found ourselves rewriting much of the material to our own ideals. To wit.... 

Christian Joke

Winifred: What do you call a donkey who carries a man? 

James: I don't have the foggiest. 

Winifred: A He-Hauler

Our Joke

Dan: What do you call a donkey who carries a man? 

Joel: Charles? 

Dan: No. 

Joel: Kirk. 

Dan: No. 

Joel: Flint. 

Dan: No. 

Joel: I give up. 

Dan: Wait... what was the joke again? 

Joel: Something about a donkey. 

Dan: Oh yeah! What do you call a donkey who carries a man? 

Joel: I dunno, what? 

Dan: The star of a donkey show! 

[Impish Giggles] 

As it turns out, my summer plans, an excursion to Skylake Camp to teach Children Film & Basketball is located a mere hours drive from Fresno, California, home of Bob Phillips, author of this and many other Christian Kid's Joke books (and fiction about Dragons if you look him up). 

My new goal for the summer is not writing a novel, entering the realm of television, or even maintaining Nirvana and pure peace of mind. My goal is to find Bob Phillips at his home or church and have him autograph my copy of the joke book. After he gives me his signature, as payback for the little piece of him that is his name, I will bestow upon Bob Phillips, a list of jokes as written by Dan and I. 

Our Joke: 

Joel: Why did the Astronaut go to the moon? 

Dan: I don't know. Why?

Joel: Because they rode on the Challenger