I Had to Concentrate to Stare at The Light

I had to concentrate to stare at the light. At the center it was a wash of white, details indistinguishable, clearly the source, but nothing clear about it actually; outwards came a reality forced upon me – that I did not choose to see, not consciously at all, but its luminance projected before me the world all around. My eyes showed me the light was there. My mind told me it was true. I had to concentrate.

I had to concentrate to stare at the light. There was no detail in its center and my eyes begged the questions, “Where is it? What are we looking for? Why must we look for it?!” – and my mind said only, “Try,” for my mind was confident and also curious. They gave it their best, my eyes, they glanced steadfast and they glared, ignoring the sense of pain (that was only fake), arisen of the inability to see all they intended, and indeed they were not good enough.

I had to concentrate to stare at the light. This challenge became more difficult for my eyes, and even my mind began losing its confidence for confusion. My eyes, though they refused to turn away from its eminence, the light, it was taking over, and everything that once was clear and visible, now, it was less than so. “Keep trying!” and they did their best to obey – no one able to lend a hand in the endeavor, not my ear, mouth, nose, not my hand, and my eyes continued trying to serve their only purpose.

I had to concentrate to stare at the light. My eyes, well they lost focus, and my mind, it tried to compensate. Where they lost details my mind filled in the gaps, when colors blurred my mind tried again to separate them, and when reality faded… my mind insisted. My eyes were gone, and “it” was up to it: my mind.

I had to concentrate to stare at the light. My mind surrendered my eyes because they did not function. My mind. The light. Alone in that moment were my mind, the light. My mind; the light. My mind – the light. My mind: the light. The light: my mind. Everything and nothing became the same white color, and it was only that color that became at all. “White.” Thought. My mind. “White.”

I had to concentrate to stare at the light. No more did even time exist. The light. It was not. Anything. My mind. Thought. It did not. All that was was only what it was, and not anything more (no less), and there I was also, just sitting, and being; I was, it were, not concentrating, not staring, not anything: not anything in front of a light. Then, my eyes, they focused on the tip of my nose. My mind - it followed.

I am staring at the tip of my nose, though there’s barely enough light to see. My nose – it breathes out. My nose – it breathes in.